My 52 Project - EPIC FAIL

Well I had a plan, I had some ideas... and I failed. I was supposed to do one portrait a week, beginning on my 25th birthday and ending on my 26th birthday. Well, I got the birthdays.... sigh. I am thinking of trying again now and sticking to it. I think it could really help me improve my skills with concepts, framing, lighting, and dedication. I wanted it to be like a photographic journal and I acheived that with the few portraits I did.

So here is the beginning of the 2010-2011 52 Project:

I CAN'T WORK LIKE THIS!!!!

(c) 2010 A. Fusion

I wanted to try and pay a little penance for failing so miserably, so I tried to think of a portrait that would embody as many things as possible: what I have been doing for most of my 25th year, what is important to me, how and why my life has evolved and changed over the last few months, and who it has all turned me into.

When I do a portrait, of myself or anyone else, I always try to show something deeper that I am seeing that perhaps other people do not see. For the last few months, I have been in the start up phase for a side business for my photography, something that has brought me GREAT joy! I have always loved the art field, but until I picked up a camera, I didn’t fully realize what medium was going to be best for me. I was given an old film camera from my oldest brother when I was 13 and found I had a somewhat good eye for capturing a picture. Then in 2006 I decided to buy myself a Cannon Powershot and get into the digital age. I miss that camera immensely. You grow fond of your equipment until they turn into something akin to an old friend. I began teaching myself by making mistakes or seeing what worked and what I thought looked horrible. Then I began teaching myself Adobe Photoshop. After that it was unbreakable love. I used to drag my friends in front of the camera and when they got tired of it, I would run out to abandoned psych hospitals, train stations, or factories simply to take pictures.

It wasn’t until recently that things changed. I moved to East Greenwich in October, perhaps the nicest place to live in RI, and started my life over. At least that’s the way it feels to me now. Everything began to change. I started getting requests for portraits and living in such a beautiful place, it was easy finding locations to do them, unlike where I lived prior. I found I had a penchant for them and found that I could make them fun for those who were getting them done, rather than having it be so stuffy and professional. I met many new people that I don’t know how I lived without prior to this! I found that I could finally accept myself and all my random, strange, goofiness. In essence, I finally came out of my little introverted shell.

The portrait is titled I CAN’T WORK LIKE THIS because it’s been a running joke since I started. I think I say it during each shoot now, just because it makes me giggle. It sums up the process for me – goofy and fun. It’s a lot of work for me, and I won’t lie, I am usually exhausted and stretched for time, but it’s worth it when my models give me a huge hug at the end and tell me how much fun it was and how excited they are to see the finished products.

So to summarize, my 26th birthday came on a tide of easy joy and happiness, contentment with my life, and excitement for the future. This is just who I am now and I wouldn’t change it. If even one thing had happened differently (we all look back and think about our decisions and how we could have done this or that better), then I would not be right here, right now, loving life and all the people that are in it now. Everything has happened for a reason and most of the fun of life is finding out what that reason is.

Let's try this project one more time, shall we?!